Rose water and lavender

I've realised of late that I'm becoming incredibly old before my time.
I am, in fact, a grumpy old lady.

Evidence:

• I've taken up knitting.
• I've taken up baking.
• I disapprove of the 'youth of today'.
• The other day I said 'my partying days are over' and 'I'm not as young as I used to be'.
• I have a strange and unfounded urge to make childrens clothes.
• I take a million different pills and herbal remedies.
• I've actually started tutting, without realising it.

Seriously, I am a boring old fart. Case closed.
But on the bright side, I'm quite enjoying life in the slow lane. I'm off to bake some focaccia and finish this knit sample :)

(and watch the Ali G movie - maybe I'm not so grown-up after all...)

houmous and flatbreads

Havent posted in about a million years, mostly because I haven't had the internet, but also because I've been a bit of a lazy uninspired fvck over the summer.

Anyway, I'm back, I'm still obsessed with Nigella, and I've just made the most delicious houmous and felt the need to share the foodie love :)

I used half a can of chickpeas, as they were left over, but just double the ingredients if you're using a whole can.

1/2 can of chickpeas
1 tablespoon of tahini (sesame seed paste)
1 teaspoon tomato puree
1/2 a teaspoon ground garlic
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon or more olive oil

All the recipes I found for houmous required a food processor, but I used a pestle and mortar.

1. Crush the chickpeas into a chunky paste with the pestle and mortar.
2. Add the tahini, and mix until smooth
3. Add the tomato puree, garlic, salt and pepper and mix.
4. Slowly add the olive oil, whilst mixing, until the desired consistency is reached.

Yum yum yum. I added some dried oragano too.

I also made some yummy quick flatbreads for dipping, using this recipe from bbc food. They only take ten minutes, as you don't have to wait for the dough to rise. I rubbed the leftover salt and black pepper into them after cooking, they were scrummy.

Sorry there are no photos, but I'll get back into the habit :)

Sophia and Nigella

I just can't decide who I want to be more.

Just signed up to the Nigella website, and I'm poring over her collection of utensils. Phwoar. Is it wrong to get a bit hot under the collar looking at parmesan shavers and casserole dishes?

I might have to add her to my side bar... <3 Nigella

I heart

the sims 3
that's right. I've got it. And that's why I haven't been online in about a million years. I won't bore you with a massive post outlining its triumphs and shortcomings in comparison with the sims 2 (I've already done this in huuuuuge post on a certain gaming website. Yeah. I'm just that cool) but I will urge any sims fans to buy it. It's well worth it. Espesh for Vista users, as sims 2 just fucks up every five minutes.

Now this is why I cut my sim chat short, I discovered another lovely little boutique website that i feel I need to share with the world:

Oh, Darling! is an adorable site I found through twitter (I still find it quite exciting when anyone/anything remotely cool chooses to follow me. Where do they even find me?)

PHWOAR:Anyone fancy buying me this? Click the image to go straight to the page for that necklace. If I don't get there first. Just look at it. And it's under seven quid. I might order it now.

Follow Oh, Darling! on Twitter
Follow Me on Twitter

Buy this book.

Read this book. Worship this book.

It's hilarious and informative. I can't beleive it took me this long to buy it. I own about 20 'style guides', some might call me and addict, but this is by far the best. Much better than the little black book of style, which everyone bummed, but was horiffically patronising, and clearly written for the middle aged. This is fun fun fun (in the sun sun sun, if you will)

Speaking of sun (see what I did there? yeah. wit. right there.) how fucking nice has it been the last few days?? I mean, phwoar.

On the downside I have a tanline across my boobs. not sexy. fake tan ahoy!

new weblove

for shipmentoffail.com. amazing stuff. well, just funny photos really. but much funnier than alot of other sites out there. i do hate that they write 'fail' on all the photos though...

epic fail on the s&d front

Missed every band I wanted to see.

Got lost in shoreditch.

Paid for two Indian meals - one being just popadums, which I didn't eat.

Saw only one band, the one band I didn't give a shit about.

Took lots of photos of ben being sick.

Accidentally walked to Hackney at 3 am.

Needless to say, I didn't pull a member of magistrates.

On the upside, Vegan chinese buffet eaten on the street.

Vodka frescatos from starbucks.

Street mug (got smashed)

Delish tesco salad and lovely gay crew in trafalgar square.

Other highlights of my little holiday to kingston include:

Mystery speed cake high

Free posh food

80p drinks in cheapskates

'sampling' bens wares when stuck outside the building

feeling like a zombie in laaandaaan taaaahn

waking up just in time for dinner

trying to sleep with the birds singing

more tales to come.... wierd times

surreal but good, hopefully I'll get accepted for september.

Sorry about the lack of photoooss

Stag and Dagger

I'm getting stupidly excited about Stag and Dagger..

The site describes it as:

STAG & DAGGER, the first one-ticket-gives-access-to-all music event to launch across London's East End in May 2008 is excited to announce its return in 2009 - bringing with it a bigger line up, more bands and DJs, more venues, and two additional national dates, this time taking the festival on the road to LEEDS and GLASGOW.

Run by VICE, presented by FIRETRAP, sponsored by Gaymers, and with acts such as:

Lovefoxxx

Casiokids

Dananananaykroyd

Cold War Kids

Exlovers

Filthy Dukes

SLOW CLUB

The Mae Shi

We Have Band

(...and jack penate...)

And DJ sets by magistrates and Moshi Moshi.

Now as you may or may not know, I bum pretty much every band and artist who has ever come out of Moshi Moshi, ESPECIALLY the almighty slow club.

And the fact that for a bargainous £18 I can have an entire day of music in various venues all over Shoreditch, in a kind of intimate gig-meets-festival format.. Well, that's just diddly.

Plus, I'm planning to make a play for a member of Magistrates...

Yeah, damn straight. Yum.

Wishlisttttt

- click to enlarge -

As my buffday is approaching I thought I'd make a wishlist. Of course I've already provided my mother with a much lengthier version including links to products and websites I like. Sorted.

The Best Bits:

• Betsey Johnson Bag - I bum everything she makes
• Beauty Without Cruelty cosmetics - Nuff said really
• Russell Kane - The most beautiful man in the world
• TaraStarlet clothing - I bum everything on this site

You'll be hearing plenty more about the lovely Russell Kane, I assure you. I stalk him a little bit.

Late onto the wagon

but seriously... Stumbleupon is pretty much the best thing EVER.

I've found so much cool shit.

My favorite things so far are this picture:

and a youtube video of an old VHS i used to have as a child - it's so 80's it kills, and the outfits are actually uber-cool.
Barbie and the Rockers - Out of this World!

I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to kidnap my old family VHS player for myself. It's a matter of time before they're retro kitsch, plus I can actually watch all the videos I find for 50p in charity shops that I just can't turn down.

Obsession

I can't decide who I'm more in love with.

Audrey Kitching or Raquel Reed?

It's a toughie...

Maybe it's a simple choice of pink vs turquise?

Speaking of bands who should be famous by now..

SLOW CLUB.

I literally cannot praise this band enough. They're playing in London just before my birthday, and I swear to god I don't see any possibility that they might not be massive by summer. If I had my way they'd be this year's MGMT.

www.myspace.com/slowclub

http://www.moshimoshimusic.com/artists/slow-club

i basically just bum everyone on moshimoshi atm.

EDIT: for some reason blogger has a massive issue with me posting youtube videos, so the link to the vid is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac6mXE7UT4E

Speaking of the Springsteen..

White trash chic anyone?

That's right, despite evrery individual garment being a bit tragic, this somehow look s right all together. Maybe it's down to this man being quite handsome.

Also:

You know when you like a band, and you like that the general public hasn't heard of them yet. When they still feel like 'your band'.

But then you secretly want them to get a bit bigger, so that you can tell everyone how you've 'liked them for yearrrsssss....' (but then probably lose interest once they get 'mainstream', and denounce any love you once had for said band once your mum's heard of them).

Well as much as I had love/hate feelings about being their only fan the other night, when they supported friendly fires at UEA;

CAN PEOPLE PLEASE START LIKING BOY CRISIS NOW PLEASE??

Because I've been telling people 'yeah, they'll be massive by summer' for ages now, and I'm starting to look like a twat. Plus: they are genuinely really bloody good.

Youtube has decided not to embed today so click here please. It's the music of sex and they're quite attractive too, in that wears-a-sweatband-unironically kinda way.

You can do me up like Woodrow Wilson

Carry my children

Exit the building

Let me love you like you're the shit girl

You're the shit girl

You're the shit girl

You can do me like Bruce Springsteen

Passed the swim team

Pass the string beans

Let me love you like you're the shit girl

You're the shit girl

You're the shit girl

No exaggeration, my favorite lyrics of all-time. I jest not.

DESIGNER SURGICAL MASKS

surely the next big thing what with the swine flu "pandemic"???

I really don't see what all the fuss is about. Something like three people died. Pfft.

What does level 4 mean anyway? Or level 5? They shouldn't be numbers. The scale should go like this:

Level 1: the notebook (in terms of kleenex sales)
Level 2: cabin fever
Level 3: anything '..of the dead'
Level 4: survivors (the best show to come out of itv in a LONG time)
Level 5: 28 days later/i am legend

then again, i really wouldn't want to be at level 4 on that scale..

got wax?

I'm a pretty hairy woman.
Naturally I mean, if I didn't take care of it.
I literally have thick dark hair all over me, and if I didn't shave/bleach/wax like I do, I'd probably look alot like your dad.
Yeah.

Anyway, today I finally took the plunge and got a bikini wax.
And you know what? It really didn't hurt that much.
It should cane, in theory, but it was alright. The leg waxing actually hurt more.

Now, I know that was probably not the kind of information you want when youre innocently blog-browsing but fuck it.

The wierd thing is that while I'll happily book a brazillian and get on all fours for a stranger brandishing hot wax, I'm still bricking it about getting tattoos on my collarbones(-ish area) without numbing gel (yeah I used numbing gel before, I'm not ashamed..... well.. I am a bit yeah).

My other point is that if waxing is so quick, painless and effective, even for someone who naturally resembles a gorilla (that would be me) why the hell do some women still look like this naked??

Hmmm... was going to put a photo of a full bush here, but googling 'hairy woman' has brought up ALOT of porn sites specifically for hairy women.
So maybe that's my answer.

Do men really prefer full bush???

My new biggest fear

Coconut crabs.

Just look at that thing!! That's not a crab, it's a monster!!

You know when you can't get out of a room because there's a spider in the doorway?

But eventually you just have to run through with your eyes shut feeling all icky?

Well I would rather slit my throat than run through a doorway with this fucker sitting in it.

I literally have shivers down my spine.

I've succumbed to blogging

I've dabbled here and there before but I tend to just be far too lazy to keep it up. I also don't really have anything to write because at the moment I don't actually do anything.

No, really.

I dropped out of uni because my course was a load of bollocks, and had some kind of romantic notion that I would get a job.
Unfortunately due to the lovely recession this is proving rather difficult. And no job = no money. And no money = no going out. Because as well as having nothing to do all day I live about a million miles from so much as a post office, and my entire village is populated by old people, farmers, and old farmers.

It's great.

So, if you like reading the boring ramblings of someone who does nothing except watch daytime tv and look for continuity errors in old zombie films, then by jove you've found the blog for you.