Thursday, 30 April 2009


You know when you like a band, and you like that the general public hasn't heard of them yet. When they still feel like 'your band'.

But then you secretly want them to get a bit bigger, so that you can tell everyone how you've 'liked them for yearrrsssss....' (but then probably lose interest once they get 'mainstream', and denounce any love you once had for said band once your mum's heard of them).

Well as much as I had love/hate feelings about being their only fan the other night, when they supported friendly fires at UEA;

Because I've been telling people 'yeah, they'll be massive by summer' for ages now, and I'm starting to look like a twat. Plus: they are genuinely really bloody good.
Youtube has decided not to embed today so click here please. It's the music of sex and they're quite attractive too, in that wears-a-sweatband-unironically kinda way.
You can do me up like Woodrow Wilson
Carry my children
Exit the building
Let me love you like you're the shit girl
You're the shit girl
You're the shit girl
You can do me like Bruce Springsteen
Passed the swim team
Pass the string beans
Let me love you like you're the shit girl
You're the shit girl
You're the shit girl
No exaggeration, my favorite lyrics of all-time. I jest not.


surely the next big thing what with the swine flu "pandemic"???

I really don't see what all the fuss is about. Something like three people died. Pfft.

What does level 4 mean anyway? Or level 5? They shouldn't be numbers. The scale should go like this:

Level 1: the notebook (in terms of kleenex sales)
Level 2: cabin fever
Level 3: anything '..of the dead'
Level 4: survivors (the best show to come out of itv in a LONG time)
Level 5: 28 days later/i am legend

then again, i really wouldn't want to be at level 4 on that scale..

got wax?

I'm a pretty hairy woman.
Naturally I mean, if I didn't take care of it.
I literally have thick dark hair all over me, and if I didn't shave/bleach/wax like I do, I'd probably look alot like your dad.

Anyway, today I finally took the plunge and got a bikini wax.
And you know what? It really didn't hurt that much.
It should cane, in theory, but it was alright. The leg waxing actually hurt more.

Now, I know that was probably not the kind of information you want when youre innocently blog-browsing but fuck it.

The wierd thing is that while I'll happily book a brazillian and get on all fours for a stranger brandishing hot wax, I'm still bricking it about getting tattoos on my collarbones(-ish area) without numbing gel (yeah I used numbing gel before, I'm not ashamed..... well.. I am a bit yeah).

My other point is that if waxing is so quick, painless and effective, even for someone who naturally resembles a gorilla (that would be me) why the hell do some women still look like this naked??

Hmmm... was going to put a photo of a full bush here, but googling 'hairy woman' has brought up ALOT of porn sites specifically for hairy women.
So maybe that's my answer.

Do men really prefer full bush???

Saturday, 25 April 2009

My new biggest fear

Coconut crabs.
Just look at that thing!! That's not a crab, it's a monster!!
You know when you can't get out of a room because there's a spider in the doorway?
But eventually you just have to run through with your eyes shut feeling all icky?
Well I would rather slit my throat than run through a doorway with this fucker sitting in it.
I literally have shivers down my spine.

I've succumbed to blogging

I've dabbled here and there before but I tend to just be far too lazy to keep it up. I also don't really have anything to write because at the moment I don't actually do anything.

No, really.

I dropped out of uni because my course was a load of bollocks, and had some kind of romantic notion that I would get a job.
Unfortunately due to the lovely recession this is proving rather difficult. And no job = no money. And no money = no going out. Because as well as having nothing to do all day I live about a million miles from so much as a post office, and my entire village is populated by old people, farmers, and old farmers.

It's great.

So, if you like reading the boring ramblings of someone who does nothing except watch daytime tv and look for continuity errors in old zombie films, then by jove you've found the blog for you.